Datura has taught hundreds of Hasidic men how to twerk.
BDSM to alot of people can be quite mysterious and odd. But I bet alot of people you know that you'd never guess are into it. No one seems to talk about it in real life. So we interviewed Mistress Datura aka Rubber Creature to get to understand why someone is interested in such an activity and how it may seem harmful and dangerous on the outside but is actually a very intimate and nurturing act.
Could you introduce yourself? I’m Mistress Datura. I'm a professional dominatrix in New York City at Pandora's Box in Chelsea. I’ve been doing this for about four years. My job entails providing fetishistic scenarios and also role play, sadism - anything, really, that someone wants to explore.
When did you realize you wanted to pursue a career as a dominatrix? I first knew I wanted to pursue this profession when I was maybe 10-years old. I walked into one of my mother's sessions. She was also a dominatrix when I was a child. I just saw that she was beating a man and it intrigued me and she quickly shooed me out of the room, shut the door, and then after her session she yelled at me for disrespecting her space. But after that, when I realized that you could actually make money doing that, I figured that was going to be what I was going to do. But I was obsessed with corsets, latex pointe shoes, high heels - all of that from a young age and it just started developing more and more into a fetishistic interest. It happened when I was having a sexual awakening, which is the same for pretty much everyone's fetishes. For some reason if you just encountered something, and you're a child starting to discover your sexuality, it kind of sticks with you for the rest of your life. But as I got older, I started researching it more on the internet. I started finding communities. Once I was 18, I signed up for this website called FetLife. And basically it's just the fetish and BDSM community, like social network thing. From there I started meeting people. I started practicing and when I was around 20-years-old, I finally felt like I was confident enough to pursue it. And since then I've been doing it and it's great.
From a young age. That's really cool. Yeah. I've always think quite a domineering personality. Most adults I know don't know what they want to do with their lives. What do you want people to know about BDSM? Well sadomasochism and BDSM in particular - that those of us who participate in it are not degenerates. We're not evil people. We're not out there to actually hurt people. It's a very mutually beneficial exchange. There's a lot of talk nowadays that dominatrixes are cruel, one dimensional creatures - and that's really not the case. Like, I truly care about the people who submit to me and I value that they're giving me their body and they're trusting me with the life essentially. I just really wish people would understand that we're actually nice people and it's a very normal thing. You would be surprised at how many people are actually into this. A lot of the times they just don't have access to the communities or know where they can see this out.
I imagine people who are not familiar would have a thousand things in their head of what they think it is, but probably are as far from the truth. Very far from the truth. It's more of a therapeutic exchange than anything. I would say most of my clients seek this out as an alternative form of therapy. Many of them have said that it's been better than traditional therapy. They're able to examine their actual interests and their psyche a lot better than just talking to someone. Sometimes you have to confront the thing that troubles you the most. Yexplore traditional hypnotism and through trial and error I figured out what actually works for me. I am trying to pursue more certifications for it because that always looks better and perhaps the experts have something that I don't know or I can't access on the Internet. Do you aim to take this further? Do you want to, like, travel the world? What comes next. I mean I do travel with this already. I've worked all across the US um. I'm going to Berlin in the near future to do this forum. I am probably going to be doing this for the next 10 years or so. But overall it's the best way for me to actually make money and provide a good life for myself and for the people I care about. So I just want to keep going at it, perfect my craft, keep getting better and then maybe eventually go back to university for computer science or something. Because at a point I think I will need a break from this industry. It's very emotionally draining sometimes. It’s very unpredictable. Sometimes you make a lot of money, sometimes you don't make money for weeks and it's that’s kind of hard to deal with. And then with like current laws toward BDSM it's just getting more and more dangerous to do any form of sex work because they're just trying to find any reason to squash our industry - like even strippers aren't really that safe anymore. So I'm trying to find an exit plan somehow, but I do enjoy this a lot.
Yeah, I agree. So as much as it's a form of therapy for them, does it affect you and your mental health?
It definitely affects my mental health. It's almost impossible for it not to. You're having extremely personal connections with people. You're doing very emotionally and physically charged things which may bring out emotions within yourself. I've had times where I've cried in the middle of sessions while my client was also crying too. When you give a very severe keening, making someone bleed brings something out in me where I feel almost bad, but at the same time it's a nice therapeutic release within me too. And then also, to have like an actual submissive relationship, you must always be in contact with your submissives. You're talking to them every single day, even if they don't come in and session. And so sometimes it's very emotionally draining too because for these people, I am their goddess, like I am everything in their world and that's a very big responsibility to take on. You never really want to mess that up. So sometimes it just gets very overwhelming for me and I have to take a step back. Because I am human after all, like I'm not a Dom Bot. But when that happens, I usually just take a mental health vacation, shut off my phone and reset and it works.
What's the most common thing that people come to you for?
The most common things that people come to me for are rubber fetish, interrogation, mind-control and caning. Those are my specialties by far. Rubber fetish isn't that popular in the U.S. It's much more of a European thing, but I'm one of the few dominatrixes in New York that specializes in it. I have a full range of equipment for people. Mind control is my own personal interest, but it's very popular too. People come in for hypnosis or they also want like CIA style interrogation - mind fucking, brainwashing things. And then caning is just good old corporal punishment and I would say that's the most popular one by far.
So is there a school that you go to or a place that you take classes to learn equipment and routines?
There's not necessarily a school, but there are classes all over New York or all over the world where you can learn how to do these things. But the traditional method is to learn underneath a dominatrix or a domme in general and learn from them.
Because what we are doing is extremely dangerous. When it comes down to it, there's a lot of cross contamination issues because sometimes people bleed. Also, you have to know the anatomy very well because you could rupture someone's organs if you whip them in the wrong place. So it's very important to learn in any way you can, via a class or the traditional method of working underneath someone. I learned personally through the traditional method. My mother was a dominatrix so once I started getting older, she started teaching me more safety techniques and how to just do it in the same manner.
As I got older and started working professionally, I would reach out to dominatrixes that I respected and I would offer it to pay them for their time. I would just come in and watch their sessions. They would give me demonstrations, I would be able to work on the client and then I would just keep building up until I felt comfortable. Part of where I learned how to do this stuff too is I went to university for pre-med. I learned a lot about anatomy and physiology and just like how to not destroy the human body, which I think is very important in this field. There's a lot of dominatrixes that are nurses, doctors, surgeons.
Are newcomers nervous the first time they come in?
I never want anyone to be ashamed of what they're interested in. I don't want them to be afraid to actually try it. I would rather take their hand and guide them through - even if it's very slowly. The submissive actually holds the most power in our exchanges. While I am the dominant one, when it comes down to it, it's their needs, their desires, and they always have the ability to say stop. And I think that's very important. There's a lot of dominatrixes out there that feel like they are infallible and that they don't have to actually listen to their submissive. And I feel that's very detrimental for both parties.